HACK 3.DEFINE YOUR WORDS.

Happy birthday, happy new year, happy new you, happy whatever. It’s been that long. When i said i’m going to be back, i clearly was lying. I’ve come to the realization that i just can’t be consistent with journaling online. I’m more of a pen and paper kinda girl. I like the thought process of just getting lost in paper. There is more rawness. The confused over lines, underlines and scribbling coming to life that somehow connect with me. Maybe it’s the scribbling. Your probably thinking what type of paper is this girl writing on? I don’t even know, i just know i feel a different kind of free.

Anyway, how are we all today?

This year has been literally a year of preparation. It’s been a year of building and breaking and i have never worked so hard. If i thought that i was working hard in the previous years then this year showed me that i was only working not being productive. I am a believer of Christ and i feel and know in my spirit that next year will be a year of reaping. As Lisa Nichols says you can’t plant and reap in the same season.

“A visioner having a conversation with a dreamer is different, a dreamer having a conversation with the ordinary will be different and the ordinary having conversations with the ordinary will be the same”- Quote by me.

So what type of conversations are you having? And how are you listening?

 I was having a conversation with a co-worker (we’re basically always in the kitchen at the same time making coffee having small talks). But this time we had some grown big folk talks and exchanged some perspectives. Something in me prompted me to ask a 40 year old man if he had any vision for his life. He told me his plans which were waiting for the perfect timing and situation and then he reciprocated my question. I told him my dream and i knew the conversation was going to be different.

Off course the list from A-Z begun on how tough it will be. I told him that our ideas on what tough is also different. That alone tells me the type of conversation he has with himself about himself.

So i proceeded to ask him why he thought it should be easy? What his idea of easy and tough is and what it looks and feels like. He was very bemused and didn’t really have an answer for my question. All he could say was just the external circumstances happening in the country are “tough”.

The problem is that we define such words according to our current external circumstances. Why can’t we change our language now? What if we raised our vision and started believing in our true potential more than our external circumstances? What if we choose to define those words according to what our dreams feel and look like? What if? What would happen? Or is that concept to tough?

The reason why it’s tough for you is because you haven’t changed and added your own definition to whats tough. Have you pushed yourself enough for it to be truly be tough for you or are you taking on somebody’s tough.

If it’s tough, get tougher. Get so tough that your tough becomes easy and then easy will become a new word and then another word. Be so great that you have a new vocabulary.

Make the words with common definitions different. If we’re going to let common definitions define us. Let them define us with excellency.

Instead of saying it’s expensive put the accountability back to yourself and admit your broke. C’mon lets get real. What are you doing about it?WHAT? Level up and start thinking on a higher capacity.

We tend to forget that nothing is ever new. There people who have been in the same exact circumstances and situations as you and they chose to redefine and added their own meaning to life. They chose to be different. They chose the dream. They chose the vision not their circumstance. What are you choosing?

The world doesn’t owe you anything. We owe the world our true greatness and potential whilst were still in it. And once we do that our words and the world will change.

If your thinking its not that deep. You could be right. Maybe it is? Maybe it isn’t. But i choose to see it and think deep because i saw it in his eyes from that day we trended past surface conversations, past the superficiality of life. I saw a glimmer of hope, a re-ignition of something, i  knew on that day there was a shift to some aspect of his perspective. 

It’s a learning process but i’m learning to be more conscious of the words i choose to define my circumstances by because words have power. I choose not to give power to the generic idea of a word. I’m asking myself who’s standard i’m defining words by. Because if i define certain words by my standards. I will choose to define them knowing who i am at my true essence, appreciating where i am whilst reaching towards where i want to be, knowing I am the head and not the tail, knowing my circumstances don’t   define me and knowing that God has me.

What do you know about you? See you gotta know, then acknowledge then accept and believe. Don’t downgrade your dreams to match your reality instead upgrade your vision to match your belief and watch your world and words change.

 

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HACK 2.OPEN UP TO PAIN.

Wow its been awhile but I’m back baby. I’m back for now. My fingers don’t even know how to behave or what to expect anymore. I wish there was a machine that you could just plug into your mind and somehow it auto generates all our thoughts and records or writes everything down but since that hasn’t been invented i guess i’ll have to do it the hard way and stop being lazy. How sad. But in all honesty, I have been lazy on here so let me stop rumbling and get to the point.

When i first even wrote my title even i had to pause. Like Damn God is this a hint? Should i be preparing for some pain because i am not getting this pain thang. However, I get a sense that I’ll look back at this thread will be confused but extremely grateful that i wrote it.

So were all going to learn to Be One with Pain, Be the pain, Breath pain and eventually be TEAM PAIN FOR LIFE.

You can work your own miracles by Napoleon Hill has aided this perspective. He basically introduces the idea that pain is a universal language and is something that is understood and mutually respected. When we go through our tribulations, the last thing were doing is jumping up and down thinking I love this this pain so much! I’m sure respect is the last word that pops up in our heads. It feels like were the only ones going through what were going through. Most of us try to have a pain-free life as much as possible. But Napoleon challenges that idea and questions what if we saw that pain as a blessing? What if we learned to condition our minds to pain and integrate it so that it becomes a full functioning emotion in our every day life. It should be a human experience which we should partake in gladly. I know. (MIND BLOWN)

It is easier to read and write about it. Applying it? That is a different story. Pain is a blessing. Through all the painful lessons that i look back on , hands on my heart i have been blessed to have experienced that trauma. If you think about it really these “painful” experiences have pushed and pulled you, evolved you as a person, challenged and humbled you. Now how you choose to react to how that experience is what shaped you. There have been tough experiences a lot of painful times in my life but i choose to define and see some of those experiences as pain and believe me not this blessing kind of pain. The type of pain that is associated with sadness, hurt and anger. But what if i chose to see and experience that “pain” in a different way. A lot of outcomes would have been completely different.

So as i write about it, i guess it’s also a learning curve ball for me. I’m not saying that other emotions associated with your trauma shouldn’t exist but rather at the end of it all we should see it as a blessing rather than a curse. Nothing is ever new in life and because of that, Why not learn to condition your mind differently? What have you got to loose. Pain should be acknowledged & respected but not feared.

So i guess I’ll have to add this as a reminder to myself. But what are your thoughts?

HACK 1.BE A RIDER BUT DON’T DIE WITH THEM.

 

I had so many ideas on what should be the big tan tan tarraahh moment. The idea that will set the tone for all the ideas that mic drop idea. The one that will touch your soul, change your life and make you forever grateful to me because without that idea your life was a hot mess.

Either that or just build you guy’s up for the big idea. If there is even one. We will never know mwahaha.

Anyway, if you have already offered an eye roll and a yawn (how dare you!) I’m getting to the point of this blog after this. I’m smiling so hard at my own post. Do you ever just feel you’re the funniest person ever? I do. Maybe the first post should have been about how hilarious i am. If only.

I AM A RIDER BUT I WON’T DIE WITH YOU.

I would say that i am publicly an extrovert but privately an introvert. And according to these 100% legit personality questioners on facebook  that I dedicate myself to will also agree. In the past two years i have found myself in a state of solitude. I was probably in that state a year before as well but i wouldn’t count it as proper three years. Maybe because all i did in the first year is spend half of it praying for a person like me or searching for that one person who i felt ticked my friend requirements at the time.

I was THIRSTY! for FRIENDS!

I was tired of my crowd. I was tired of everyone besides my perfect old self and just wanted to take a back seat for once.

My aunt once told me “Some people only pour a cup into your life because that is all they have but because you are a jug you don’t feel like there pouring anything.” So i was at cross roads with myself. Was i being to selfish? Isn’t it my right to be selfless? Was it me? Was it them? I didn’t  know what line to tow without overstepping the other. Were all cups and jugs to someone really. All i knew is that i was drained. I didn’t care who the jug was or who was the cup. I wanted everyone to step up. I was tired of always filling people up. I was tired of always asking God for strength for all the strength to be used up. I was praying one day asking God for new friends seriously and i just felt this sense of  YOU NEED TO CHILL CLAIRE! Let’s just say i am still chilling and I am content in that chill. The way i’m chilling adds a new definition to the word chill. I have become very comfortable in my state of solitude.

When i started to become comfortable within my solitude i realized that i heard a better sense of discernment and a higher standard for my expectations for all the things that deserve me, things I can work through and what the things I need to let go and say goodbye to. Solitude is a dangerous thing because you end up becoming too comfortable and happy by yourself that you forget everyone else. I mean you come alone and you will die alone but that doesn’t mean you stay alone.

Genuine people enrich your life. A genuine connection with another human being is beautiful. I need richness, I need purpose, I need fun and I need spontaneity because i felt like that was the sort of person i was. That was all i was asking for. A me in someone else. And that’s exactly what i kept getting. At the time it felt like i was asking for a really big miracle but i couldn’t comprehend that i was getting the answers to my miracle in a different way. People in our lives reflect a part of how we see ourselves, aspects we enlighten and the aspects that are dark in us. So everyone that is in your life right now represents a part of you, yourself and you. So throughout my life I was asking for a full mirror when all i kept getting were broken pieces. Broke trying to fix the broken. And then I realised I was either the broke or the broken one. And I didn’t know who was trying to fix who.

I put more emphasis in my solitude towards my friends because that is where i felt like i invested myself more. Whether i was doing it consciously or unconsciously because that is where i was being drained the most. Lets be real, I was actually relieved with loosing a lot of them and a couple of losses hurt. The biggest one was loosing my best-friend. The BFFL (Best friend for life) That one friend you would seriously marry if they were the opposite sex. Your maid of honor, your children’s God mother. You basically have visualized you’r whole future together, that one person you felt knew you the best. Loosing them hurts, it feels like you have lost a part of yourself and a part of you can’t be the same without them. It felt like a lot of things at the time but time heals wounds if you allow it and you begin to learn to let go of holding on to timelines. You begin to appreciate the memories as for what they were, you begin to let life work it’s course, you begin to meet new people who come on your journey, you begin to realise that nothing is permanent and then you’ll begin to smile again.

*Side note* To the people who have done you good whether you ended on bad terms or without closure. The ones who were there for you when nobody was. Always speak good of them.

Familiarity has a way of making people feel entitled to an explanation of your life and the choices that we make. But the loss of a long friendship struck a cord in me and I realised that your not as familiar as you think and that is okay. 

I will ride with you through thick and thin, through the ups and downs, through joy, through it all but your not going to choose to die and take me with you. If i am breaking myself to make you whole then SAYONARA, it’s been good knowing you.

Be open but take your time on being content. Find yourself without trying to be like everybody else. Love yourself to become your own best-friend. You don’t need a squad and eventually, the right people will come once you start acting like you deserve them. Will it get lonely? Yes. Boring?If you allow it.

Life has a way of making me realize

that

 I AM A RIDER BUT I WON’T DIE WITH YOU.

What are your guys thoughts and experiences with this concept.

Lets Connect

Before i start hack giving all my life secrets away. Lets connect.

So.

 Have a shot if you need to, grab a glass of water, wine or just have some tea. Moisturise anything and everything, pour some eye drops and leave the attitude behind. Get your glasses and mind ready. This blog is about life and it’s lessons. We all live it and frankly i want to live it as easy as possible but that can get boring sometimes and if your more like me who loves to learn lessons the hard way for you to get the point then GOOD LUCK and THANK YOU for taking one for the team because I’m sure through your pain you can share your testimony with us and we will get an enlightened life lesson and hack. 

Do you ever just do things in life and realise “If i only did this a certain way it would have been much easier” You could be right. But with that you gotta ask yourself what easyness looks and feels like to you. The lessons you have gotten so far in life you got them like you were meant to. The only difference is the way those lessons served themselves and the way you choose to receive them. Let me stick to the intro first. Back to connecting.

Some things happen for a reason.  Some things happen because we just let them happen and some things happen because we do not have an anonymous blogger giving life tips away for you to follow. I didn’t have that growing up, so that is what I am here for. To be your Life hack giving fairy god mother.(Blogger version) 

Lets face it. We need each other. We  need to share the lessons that have shaped us into who we are today. Our perspectives, our belief systems, our characters and our true essence as kings and queens. This is an open platform about my journey on this thang called life. The good, the bad and the ugly. Buckle up.

It’s also an open platform for anyone and everyone to share their journey as well so let’s stop being stingy and share as many life hacks as possible.